I hear Montana is nice this time of year, but I'm bringing my pigs.

There's a reason they call it meantime. It's just that, mean. I can't help but think that it's all meantime in one respect or another. We are always between things. As soon as we finish one thing it's on to another. From one relationship, home, school, job, paradigm to another, forever seeking to attain or survive. Everything that we have ends, and something new in its place rises. We all know that most of the time, new construction is a bad thing. More expensive traffic tickets, roads kicking up all sorts of debris, can't get anywhere on time, and it's all done in the meantime. Makes you want to grit your teeth. Being about to do something perpetually is a tiring thought. There will always be a task. Something to complete, to finish in an effort, merely, to start something new. Accomplishment is a fairy tale. When is it enough? It doesn't matter, because once you've reached enough, there's enough of something else you haven't reached. This is why I can't sleep. It's an old argument, but it's an eternal truth.

As awful as the meantime might be, it can diverge into something of value. If you're lucky. You see, it brought me to Las Vegas, and it's going to take me to Montana, Oregon, California and God knows where else. Why? Because, why not. BOOM! I know, my brain exploded too. Just go. Don't think, do. Risk is where life is. Not love, money, or God. Take a big enough risk and come out on top, and I dare you to say you don't feel like you just climbed Everest. Church makes you cry, love makes you cry, money makes you cry. I understand that risk has a lot of crying involved, but when the coin lands on heads, there's no greater feeling. Winning. Charlie got that part right.

The point is, I was asked if I wanted to go build a cabin in Montana for two months, and I didn't even hesitate, "Uh, fuck yeah I want to go to Montana". I don't even care about building a secluded log cabin from 38" logs, I just want to go to Montana. Because I've never been there, that's why. Shutup. Because none of it really matters anyway. I know how very emo that sounds, but look at it a with a little logic. It doesn't does it? Toldjuh. Seriously though, it's about not wanting to be the guy that says, "man I wish I would have ______". I'd rather have regrets than something else to daydream about. I could have actual memories. When you are laying on your deathbed, that's what you're going to be thinking about.

People have a tendency to fill roles. It's a creepy thing, but it happens. I like to think that I'm more dynamic than that now, but I still have my moments. If nothing else over the past year, I've learned to be quiet. I don't communicate much anymore. That seriously pissed people off. Talk is a very cheap thing, but listening is gold. Silence is lead, and listening is the Da Vinci formula. If you don't take my advice about the risks, at least try and be quiet. Just for one day. Make a serious effort to say as little as possible without causing much suspicion or social discomfort. You'll be surprised what you can learn from people when you aren't contemplating what you are going to say next.

Obviously, I'm a little crazy so you probably shouldn't listen to me. But then again, so was Da Vinci. And even again, so is Charles Manson. Depends on the flavor I guess. All I'm trying to get across is that you shouldn't waste your time waiting or talking. Act and be rewarded, and inevitably punished. Either way, live. So, I'm going to Montana, and my pigs are coming with me.

I'm a tall drink of water. The problem is, the glass is half full.