Back to the point. I've seen enough relationships from the outside to know that guys are assholes. They are always dick heads. This was something I used to be proud of. I'm so patient and selfless all the time. I never do anything she doesn't approve of and I sit through all of her reality tv and act interested.
Wow.
Guys cheat, beat, and generally antagonize to the best of their ability. A whole lotta upper level selfishness. I couldn't figure out why every dude I knew was nicer to his dog than his "ole lady", and then, epiphany. It's evolution. Men are mice. Women are electrified cheese. You see, back in the day women had very limited roles. The "family unit" didn't come along until long after the beginning of our species. Women cooked and had babies. Procreation and digestion. Men told them when to do both or else it was club to head. It went along like this for a long time. That's the more general evolutionary aspect of why women are usually treated as insignificant by their significant other. It's in our nature.
I'm gonna try not to get too Scientology about this.
A mind evolves as it ages the same way that a species does. A psyche has a much shorter existence so it evolves much faster and eventually returns to it's fetal beginnings, but it works more on conditioning or adaptation which are just cogwheels in the evolution clock. So, as you age and experience the tyranny derived from the nice guy routine, typically, you squash that shit and start laying down a strong pimp hand. When you go all alpha male and put a bitch in her place, things are good, so why stop? All women complain about it and do nothing. Buy her flowers and tell her she gives you the Christmas morning sensation every time you think her name and
you might as well pack your bags. Don't give me some line about how all women aren't like that. Point a finger at one. You will stand forever, fists closed. Women are evil. I can prove it mathematically.
Women require time and money.
Women = Time X Money.
We all know that time is money.
Time = Money. So...
Women = Money X Money. Or Women = Money^2
Money is the root of all evil. Money = 
evil.
evil. Now just plug it in and reduce
Women = (evil)^2.
evil)^2. Women = Evil
Now to the mouse.
A mouse in a box. There is an empty plate and a plate with cheese wired to blow. Unknowingly, the mouse bites into the succulent cheddar only to receive a dose of mini-electric chair. The mouse repeats this until it realizes that when it bites the cheese it hurts. Conditioning. We leave the mouse and it begins to squint from the hunger pains. This is where humanity diverts from the behavior of lab rats. We get angry. We are starving and the cheese is parked on front street. So, we say fuck it and sneak bites, slowly gaining a tolerance to the jolts. Adaptation. That gets old, the cave man comes out punches, kicks, and scratches until completely out of breath and about to pass out from the constant electrocution. Once all that is done with, a little logic kicks in and we chew through the cord until the cheese is sacrosanct once more. After that we pee on the exposed wires and tell the cheese to get it's ass moving, because dinner won't cook itself. After that life is good. The cheese has no control and if you punch it in the right spot you can't see it when it's dressed. The mouse lives happy and the cheese is satisfied. After all, cheese really only wants to be eaten in the end anyway.
Moral of the story? Bitches are evil and need to be controlled in order to preserve our existence. If women controlled everything we would all perish in moments. It would bring on the apocalypse. I'm serious. God and Adam had a conversation about it.
God: Adam, for one of thine haunches you shall receive a mate superior to any you may have dreamt of.
Adam: Seriously? You want one of my legs?
God: It will take thus to create such a being.
Adam: What could I get for a rib?
God: Ugh. Listen, if you want a woman worth no more than a rib, you will have to keep her in line.
Adam: Oh, come on. Do you realize how much time it takes to bask in your glory? I can't be responsible for her too.
God: If ever there comes a time when all men are subservient to women, I'm scrapping the whole thing and letting Steve take over.
Adam: Fine, fine. I'll watch her. That reminds me, Steve is in that tree with the fruit I can't eat, and he's doing that "I'm invisible" thing with his hands. It's creepy. He didn't have his helmet on.
God: Learn from my mistake and don't create a son while you're drunk. Thank Me, Jesus turned out so fantastic. I'll send Michael to fetch him from the tree and take him back to his cage.
See, apocalypse. Still don't believe me? I have even more proof that women are inherently evil.
